The Gottman Institute of Seattle Washington has revealed that the average couple endures an astonishing six years of unhappiness before seeking professional assistance. The longer couples remain mired in distress, the more ingrained their dysfunctional behaviors become, turning maladaptive habits into entrenched patterns.
Feeling trapped in a love you can't seem to navigate can be profoundly disheartening. Yet, couples who experience significant improvements with CoupleScience™ usually have an underlying love, even if it's buried beneath layers of conflict.
Contrary to popular belief, passionate arguments with your partner aren't a sign of diminished love. In fact, indifference, not hate, is the true opposite of love. That said, perpetual conflict—especially when it yields no resolution—is a fast track to relationship breakdown.
Before considering professional help, we suggest exploring various self-guided methods, such as reading relevant books or seeking advice from trusted mentors, elders, or friends. Sometimes, even a family meeting can bring about temporary reconciliation. But a word of caution: turning to non-professionals comes with its own risks, such as potential breaches of privacy or irreparably changing a loved one's opinion of your partner.
Moreover, while we may quickly voice our complaints to friends and family, we're often less eager to share the good moments. This imbalance can complicate your support network's perspective on your relationship.
Couple's retreats can serve as a useful alternative, offering both space and focused time to rediscover each other. Just like a cell phone needs recharging, so does a relationship. However, when all else fails, or if you find your efforts short-lived, professional counseling should be sought before your issues inflict long-lasting damage. Much like a leaky roof, severe marital issues won't fix themselves and can lead to extensive harm if neglected.
At CoupleScience™, we hold our couples to high standards, as we strive for optimal results. We focus on building upon your strengths while targeting areas that need improvement. Our approach revolves around empowering couples through education and consistent skill-building.
In conclusion, consider your options carefully. If self-help strategies fall short and you find yourselves at an impasse, know that CoupleScience™ stands ready to assist.
copyright 2022 all rights reserved
originally published as "When is a Counselor Really Necessary?"