Blue Personal Objects

Couple Science Blog

1 very specific thing to avoid when making love if you're prone to stress.

Updated: Apr 27

Imagine sitting down with your partner to enjoy the sunset together.

After you are both comfortable and have your chairs at the correct angle to see the setting sun, your partner mentions something that is very very important to them.

"In order to fully enjoy this beautiful sunset, I really need to be able to sneeze, at least once. And actually, I'd prefer to time it so we sneeze together hopefully just as the sun sets."

Your partner then hands you a glass of wine, telling you this will make things more romantic, and you'll both be more likely to sneeze.

Now as you settle into your seat you are acutely aware of the air around you, and how your allergies are that day.

"I don't know if I'll be able to sneeze or not", you think to yourself.

As you sip your wine, you feel anticipatory anxiety about your own ability to sneeze at all, once less "at the right time together ".

The original goal of seeing the sunset and being together starts to take a back seat to your growing concern about the sneeze requirement, and you find yourself monitoring both yourself and your partner for any signs a sneeze is on the way.

As a spectator of your own self you begin to feel nervous because there's no sneeze in your near future as far as you can tell.

Looking around to see if maybe you left out some salt and pepper from your last barbecue, you seek the aid of anything that could help you sneeze.

Meanwhile your partner has already made a couple pre-sneeze faces and seems to be on the verge.

Frantically you reach for their hand and remember that you're one of 10-35% of the population that has a photic sneeze response. If you can just get into a pre sneeze position, aiming your face in the direction of the sun will usually trigger a sneeze for you.

But it's to no avail. Because the sun has set, your partner has sneezed, and you know you can't fake sneezing along with them, although it was quite tempting to try.

Patting their hand, you offer a gesundheit, and hope for better luck next time.

At least it's your regular weekly date night and you know you'll soon be making passionate love to one another and forget all about the stress of sneezing or not sneezing!

You just hope that you can at least have orgasms at about the same time.*

*Don't let the sun set on unnecessary intimacy struggles. Remember the sex scenes we see on TV and movies are idealized. The idea of two people climaxing at exactly the same time may sound perfect. In reality, many couples struggle with intimacy issues, and making orgasm a specific goal can increase the pressure both individuals feel during lovemaking.

Avoid this unnecessary mandate if it increases the anxiety you feel in the bedroom. Focus on engaging with your partner and enjoying your very special time together.

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